By: Kellen Lounsbury
Self-Respect is a critical skill that I think everybody should learn. If someone does not have self-respect, they may never see the good things they have inside them. Self-respect is not selfish, and it is not an unhealthy pride. It is a foundational pillar to finding happiness.
Below I have highlighted five ways to help you find self-respect.
1. Find Yourself
Having a sense of self and understanding who you are is incredibly important. I have written about this before and why it should be one of the first steps a person takes to self-discovery. It can be complicated to have self-respect when you don’t know what to respect, what to value, or even where you stand.
Get your footing first, and find a sense of self. Over time you can build on this, and the more and more you grow, you will find that that there will be things that resonate with the person you want to be and things that you will discard.
2. Know Your Strengths
If you know yourself quite well, you will probably have a good sense of your strengths. Know with a decent amount of rational accuracy to gauge your strengths and apply them to your life. If one of your strengths is that you are a great vocalist and enjoy singing, take the time to practice that skill.
It will boost your mood, your confidence, and it will show you what makes you unique through the challenge.
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." - Dale Carnegie
It is also important to understand that just because you haven’t tried something in the past doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of it. So test the waters, try your strengths in new situations, and figure out how you can leverage them.
Respect what you are capable of, and know where you can grow further.
3. Active Accountability
Accountability, in my opinion, shouldn’t be looked at like a passive trait. It is not something that we should do when we feel like we have to do it; it is something that we should practice daily and strengthen.
When you get used to holding yourself accountable, you begin to take inventory of what matters to you. Habits are a great example of this. If these habits become important, you will start to respect yourself for keeping them in check. The more you hold yourself accountable to stay consistent with your habits, you will feel rewarded, and it will be easier to respect yourself.
Stay active and hold yourself accountable.
4. Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of yourself is not a weakness.
Let me repeat that one more time. Taking care of yourself is not a weakness. It is something that creates balance in your life.
Everybody has different ways of taking care of themselves. Some people work out at the gym, and some people unwind by playing video games, some people like to read books, and others may even like to go on hikes.
"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself." - Nhat Hanh
In 2021 there is a huge stigma around how people should unwind and take care of themselves. Quite frankly, whatever makes you happy and is not damaging to your health or well-being, I think it’s perfectly acceptable as a way to unwind and relax.
Being a productive workhorse does not make you strong. It is an extreme, and people that live within extremes do not know how to find balance in their lives. So rather than going from one extreme to another, learn how to find harmony and enjoy all avenues of your life.
5. Learn to Say No
One of the most important things that you can learn how to do is learn how to say no. You have to be the one to enforce the life that you want for yourself.
Most people have a hard time saying no it’s because they are worried that people are going to retaliate or they are going to get upset.
Anyone who truly cares about you will respect your boundaries, and learning how to say no is an essential skill that everyone needs to learn how to do and not feel guilty about.
The next time you have something that you know that you need to do for yourself and you are caught in a position where you have to decide between potentially sacrificing what you know is good for you, say no and respect yourself in that manner.
Self-respect is one of the most important things that a person can have because if a person does not believe in themselves, they will hide their light from the world.
Each one of us has a light to give this world and a way to make it better, and a way to make a change.
If you never believe in yourself to see that light, then that light will go to the grave with you. Learn to love yourself, learn to find self-respect, and most of all, keep living and seeking your path to happiness.
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Sincerely, - Kellen L.
